Why I Started Fires Within and What You Can Learn From It

I'm Shelby and I'm a woman that spent too many years of her young adult life thinking that my relationship wasn't toxic, I just had problems with my mental health. I thought I was the reason I didn't want kids anymore, the reason I was drinking every night, the reason I never wanted to have sex. It wasn't until I started opening up about what was happening behind closed doors that others helped me realize that it was abuse. 

Oof. That’s a rough one to admit.

But I know I’m not alone. I grew up in American society where girls were taught that we need to look and act a certain way to attract a man that will take care of us. Once we get that, we need to do everything in our power to keep them and never question what's happening. Well, listening to that advice landed me in an abusive relationship with a man that took what he wanted whenever he wanted. I didn’t even think anything was wrong. I thought that’s what I was supposed to do.

So what?

So, I got sober, I got a divorce, I quit my job, and Fires Within was born. I didn’t want to go another day staying quiet if someone else was going through what I went through.

I also use this space to offer candles with a fun, sexual twist and journals to help you discover your sexual wellness. Abuse can really mess with your head and it's nice to have questions and prompts laid out to help you find your way back to yourself. 

What it means

I started Fires Within to destigmatize conversations about sex and relationships. After missing the signs of an abusive relationship, I realized that open dialogue could have helped me recognize what I was experiencing wasn't normal. I created a space where we can talk freely about what's happening in our lives and help each other recognize what's healthy and what's not. Then, once you're ready to heal, I'll help you discover who you are again. 

xo,

Shelby